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One of the best movies ever.
— John Green, Looking for Alaska
They say it gets better with time, but I find it hard to believe. I don’t know who I’m really trying to convince anymore; myself, or time? Sometimes, when you go looking for the truth, the answer isn’t always what deserve. Sometimes you’re just looking for reassurance, and as you slowly start to realize that you’re not getting that reassurance, you find yourself cold and whimpering in the corner of your bed. Sometimes I wish I never found the things I found, saw what I saw, asked the questions that I asked….it hurts every time. Time, time, time. Oh, if I had a way to make you turn back, the first thing I would have you do is get rid of are these memories. The second thing would be to bring my child back to me. And the third would be to never let me fall out of love again. Once one person gives up, the whole thing just kinda falls apart. I know that heartbreak is just a saying, you can’t actually feel your heart break. But when I forced myself through that dark time, everything hurt. My face, my limbs, even when my mom would try to run her finger through my hair, that would hurt. My soul hurt. Although I could not feel breakage in my heart, it felt as though it gave up on me. As though my brain was telling it to give up on the rest of me because I was convinced that every part of me needed you. I don’t know how much stronger I am today. I’ve been taking baby steps since day one. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to just get up and start running. I don’t wanna run from you, I just want to be able to move on. Ask me what unconditional love is, and I’ll tell you that it means you love someone regardless of their sins or their success. When you love someone unconditionally, none of it matters because you will give to them the world, and when the world turns against them, you will take the world down, and when the world goes down, you will create a new one together. By all means, you will not stop. Unconditional. Love. I love you, unconditionally. I fear that because I always have, I always will. Unfortunate for me, lucky you.
Dear time, I wish you would go easy on me.
I’m haunted by the image of his face every day. His smile, his voice, his eyes, his drunken slur, and even the scent of his cigarettes mixed in with the lingering smell of his cologne. What I wouldn’t give to curl up in that warmth again…safe and sound..out of harms way.
It’s been two years now.
I gave you my heart…and you just never really gave it back.
I want it back…
And then she whispered into my ear; “trust me. I won’t hurt you.”
Buttercup, don’t break my heart.
When I love, I love unconditionally. This means that I notice your flaws, but accept them. I realize your strengths, and acknowledge them. There is no turning back. Even when I try my best to hate you, I end up loving you more. Even when I don’t want you, I feign for you. You are exuberant—a beauty that no human species can understand. At least, not the way I do. When you smile, my heart melts. It literally sinks because I can’t imagine how much it would break if I never saw that smile again. I want to always keep that smile. I want to always keep you. When I love, I love unconditionally, and in a crowded room, there’s only you and me. The world stops. You become the atom; the center of it all, the very epitome of everything that holds me together. Your hands become the missing puzzle pieces in my life that I once knew as an empty space. Your face becomes my sunshine, your presence becomes my motivation. When I love, I love unconditionally.
Mind you, I said when. :) don’t get it twisted.
When you get two great minds together, a collision is sure to occur. The impact itself makes it quite the endeavor.
It’s almost like asking for destruction, how can you not foresee the mayhem coming?
Do you realize how beautiful your mind truly is, and how wild mines can run?
When the two meet, they don’t just encounter each other, they collide.
Your imagination has a mind of its own, and the fact that it’s in YOUR head makes it the most beautiful home.
Even with thoughts unknown, I still feel inclined. And my thoughts themselves will be revealed in due time.
So if You let Me.
Indulge in your presence, your laughter, your smile.
Appreciate your absence when you’ve gone away hundreds of miles. Shower you with words from the passion I have in my heart for you, thank you everyday for making me feel so beautiful.
You stole my heart entirely.
Tripping, stumbling, feelings still compiling.